Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
