I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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