I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
