u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
this is an emotional support booty call
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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