I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
