wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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