i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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