moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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