I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
