Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize