its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
