i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
