Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
