CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
