This is not my ceiling
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
