She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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