This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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