you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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