We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
