is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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