Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize