hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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