So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
