I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
