CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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