this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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