hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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