Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
