We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize