Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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