She's JV to your varsity
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
