remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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