Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
