How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
