Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
