i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
