were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
