Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
