No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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