I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
