This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
