You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
