Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize