I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
