My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
