so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
