am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize