Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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