Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
