What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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