Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
