That's intense
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
