Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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