oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize