And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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