elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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