You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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