I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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