I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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