his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize