Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
