just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
